I have demons in me.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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