i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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