Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
