i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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