I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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