Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
