I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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