I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
