Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
