Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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