party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
