I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
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Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
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We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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