Im at strip club and am horny
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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