I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You pole danced in your parka.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize