I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
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You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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