Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize