Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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