Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize