if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
