...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
