I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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