Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
