its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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