Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Ketchup is God's man juice
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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