Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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