Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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