i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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