I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
