Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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