Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
