She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
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