R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I came so hard my ears popped.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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