If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yo dont text me then not text me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
