the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
