69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
