proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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