Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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