Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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