he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Green mimosas i think yes
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
