Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
