Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
