I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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