D3 body, D1 cock
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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