I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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