I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This is classic penis vs brain.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
