the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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