You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
