i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
