I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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