Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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