In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
