If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
