remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
