i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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