Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
