Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
