We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
