ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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