If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
