I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
